5 Life Lessons from my First Bodybuilding Show
Happy Thursday, team!
Welcome to the 29th edition of the Thrive Protocol Letter.
Today at a glance:
Breaking down the lessons and principles that stood out to me from my first Men’s Physique show.
This past Saturday, I did something that put me out of my comfort zone:
I stepped on stage and allowed myself to be judged on my physique (the photos haven’t come in yet, so for now, you’ll have to take my word for it).
I didn’t place in the competition — my biggest downfall was my lack of posing skills. I got rattled up there and forgot some of what I’d learned about posing.
My final vlog will be a detailed series highlighting my mistakes and what I could have done better - but that’s not what I’m discussing in today’s letter.
I want to share the personal growth insights I’ve experienced due to committing to this process.
I feel like a better person after having done this prep and stepped on that stage (despite borderline embarrassing myself up there).
My purpose in documenting the process and even committing to the show at all was about a deeper motivation than doing well in a physique show.
The show was about personal vindication, commitment, discipline, and the willingness to embrace hard things.
In each vlog episode, I included a mindset component that had stood out to me that week.
Here are the top insights that stood out to me from prep.
Happiness is Self Respect
I divided my prep loosely into 2 stages: the “easy” stage during the first six weeks and the “hard” stage (the final six weeks).
The hard stage was where I had to push to a level I’d never been to before: Very low calories, lots of conditioning, and brutal workouts.
I experienced hunger, exhaustion, and crankiness.
However, at several points throughout this phase, during some of my most challenging moments, I also experienced genuine thoughts of self-love.
“I love you, man.”
That thought legitimately appeared in my mind more than once.
It might sound a bit cringe — but I’m being 100% real.
It felt like an alignment between two parts of me: the “coach” (pre-frontal cortex) who was calling the shots, and my emotional self (lizard brain that gets hungry and cranky) who, despite going to bed every night thinking of food, was enduring the process and seeing it through.
I had several of these spontaneous moments of self-love throughout the process, and they were authentic and beautiful.
It showed me that one of the most powerful things we can do for our positive self-image and self-respect is to commit to something that earns our respect.
Acting in a way that genuinely earns our own self-respect (without the need for affirmations or rationalization) is a cheat code for happiness.
Takeaway:
Self-love comes from genuine self-respect.
Respect doesn’t work differently for ourselves than it does for others.
You can’t expect to respect yourself when you’re not living up to your potential and principles.
If you’re in a rut, audit your life for where you’re deviating from your principles, and consider committing to something that will earn the respect of yourself.
I promise you that earning genuine self-respect will be worth the sense of peace and happiness.
Peace comes from Acceptance
I have often turned to food as a remedy for my bad days.
Many years ago, I forged a deep connection that food makes me feel better, and dealing with this has been my biggest challenge in getting and staying lean.
During prep, I obviously could not turn to food to alleviate my bad days. And you better believe there were some “bad days.”
But something interesting happened.
One night, when my wife was away on a work trip, I went for a walk in my neighbourhood after my small, sad dinner.
It was one of those nights where walking was hard, and I was dragging my feet.
I made it to a coffee shop, got a rooibos tea and sat outside.
Despite everything, I felt a palpable sense of peace and calm as I sat in the warm evening sipping my rooibos.
Sure — I was tired, beat up, and hungry, but I was at peace.
This sense of peace came from a genuine acceptance of my situation and the understanding that all I could do was endure it.
It made me think:
How much of our suffering comes not from our situations but from our resistance to accepting reality?
We use vices like food, alcohol, Netflix binges or worse to numb stressful or unpleasant situations.
These solutions work for a few minutes, but we always find ourselves right back where we started.
Something different happens when you accept that there is no quick fix and that you have to endure the unpleasantness.
You experience peace.
Takeaway:
Much of our stress and suffering comes from wishing reality was different and attempting to distract or numb ourselves from it.
Ebbs and flows are a part of life.
You’re going to have amazing days, and you’re going to have low days.
The best way to deal with the low days is to accept them as a part of being human and not to try to fight them through denial, distraction, or numbing.
Next time you feel the need to turn to one of your vices (we all have vices) to deal with an unpleasant mood, challenge yourself just to sit and be with the situation instead.
I know I sound like a yoga-teaching hippy right now — but trust me on this.
Get a rooibos tea and simply sit with the feeling.
Don’t fight it. You may be surprised at what happens.
A Hard Deadline is a Blessing
One of the issues that has thwarted my dieting phases in the past is constantly changing the deadline and extending the diet time and time again.
The cool thing about the show was that it forced me not to do this.
There was sticking to the diet or bailing on the show. And I made a public commitment not to bail this time.
I was struck by how valuable a hard deadline is in this way.
All procrastination and wishy-washy commitments come from the absence of a hard deadline.
Unfortunately, it’s often the most meaningful personal projects and endeavors that suffer this fate since we don’t always have an external force keeping us accountable.
The result?
We procrastinate for months or years on starting that business, getting that new credential for our career, running a marathon, or losing 20 pounds.
We set a loose deadline and then renegotiate with reality when something happens to make that deadline inconvenient.
Those renegotiations are dishonest.
They’re a failure to accept reality as it is.
What’s truly happening in those moments is that we’re experiencing a conflict between our values and reality.
Instead of addressing this conflict honestly — by confronting that our time is a limited resource and we must make some hard decisions about what to sacrifice to achieve what is most meaningful to us — we push back the deadline.
We outsource the work to our future selves.
Takeaway:
When you commit to a hard deadline, you force yourself to deal with reality honestly.
Pushing back time will not be an option.
You’ll have to face reality.
You’ll have to face the sacrifices you’re willing to make.
You’ll have to confront your principles, values, and tolerance for discomfort.
A hard deadline is a tremendous tool for personal growth and self-awareness.
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Everyone loves the idea of changing for the better.
We romanticize change, focusing only on the benefits of a change and neglecting the hard parts — the sacrifices.
Everyone wants a six-pack, but no one wants to skip happy hour with their friends.
Hence, the common expression:
You gotta change to change.
If you continue to do what you have been doing, you’re going to get the same result.
To level up in any aspect of your life, you must do different things daily.
This sounds painfully obvious, but when you look at the behavior of most people, it’s not.
People get stuck on theoretical change (the romanticized version of change) and neglect reality change.
Example:
Theoretical change is being excited about starting a new fitness program and losing 20 lbs by summer.
Reality change is ordering soda water and a chicken salad at the bar with your friends on game night when they’re all having burgers and beers.
Most people make excuses regarding reality change and then wonder why their “intention” to change hasn’t gotten them anywhere six months down the road.
Takeaway:
A different result will require different actions from you.
The more precise you can be about those actions, the better chance you’ll have of levelling up.
What got you here won’t get you there.
Every next level (in any area of life) requires a new level of commitment, new habits, and new actions.
Ask yourself: What will you have to change to get to the next level (whatever that might mean for you)?
It’s the Hardest Reps that Count
Arnold is famous for saying you build muscle in the last few reps — the hardest ones of the set that are the most uncomfortable.
The purpose of the first few reps is only to get to the harder ones — all growth comes from those hard reps.
In terms of muscle, this is true (look up “mechanical tension”).
But more importantly, this is true in terms of life.
You can’t cheat hard work.
Deep focus, absolute commitment. These are required to achieve any meaningful goal.
These are the tasks that move the lever.
True positive change comes from the ability to do the boring tasks repeatedly.
To get up when that alarm goes in the morning.
To stay focused and not check your phone when you’re doing focused work.
To refuse the snack even though you’re hungry.
To go and do that lower body session even though you’re eating only 1400 calories per day and you slept like shit and don’t know how in the hell you’re going to take three sets of Bulgarian Split squats to failure…
It’s the difficult, unpleasant tasks that move the needle.
These are the difference makers.
Takeaway:
Ask yourself: In what ways are you neglecting/avoiding the unpleasant tasks?
Are you digging deep and doing the hard reps? Or could you be doing better?
(Most of us could be doing better).
TL;DR:
Self Respect creates Happiness
Peace comes from Acceptance
A Hard Deadline is a Blessing
What got you here Won’t get you There
It’s the hardest reps that count
Hope you find something valuable in there!
Thanks for reading,
-Colin “Do hard things it’s good for you” Matson
